Monday, November 10, 2003
college counseling appointment = depressing
coming in close to 1am, monday morning. and, once again, i'm coding. i have a very sinking feeling that i'll be coding very late tonight - which i'm very worried about. i have a math test during B tomorrow, and i need to bring my A game. an allnighter would mess things up. i need at least 4, 4.5 hours of sleep. and i still have a bunch of work to do.
i'm worried. calm, cool, collected - but worried. coke in hand, dave matthews in my ears, i'm worried.
god i can't do it. i don't know what is wrong, i just can't do it. somethign isn't right and i just can't figure it out. god fucking damnit i hate times like these. i'm tired, and i'm going to get up in 4 hours, and have the same exact trouble.
i'm worried. calm, cool, collected - but worried. coke in hand, dave matthews in my ears, i'm worried.
god i can't do it. i don't know what is wrong, i just can't do it. somethign isn't right and i just can't figure it out. god fucking damnit i hate times like these. i'm tired, and i'm going to get up in 4 hours, and have the same exact trouble.
Thursday, November 06, 2003
logged my all nighter :P
enjoy
11:33pm
had first good breakthrough of the night, moving on to subfunctions of class. still looking like i'm pulling an allnighter.
11:37pm
this is great. not having the internet is going to make this project a thousand times worse then it is. fuck you IT for fixing that hole. since my worthless compsci teacher doesn't have a textbook, i have NOTHING TO GO BY. i need to figure out how to make a char into a string. HOW.
11:50pm
okay, well, i found a way ... but its really weird. i convert the char to an array of chars, then for some reason the string constructor will take that (array of chars) instead of just the single char. whatever. it works. next thing.
12:07am
making steady progress. i've got the entire structure that i need for the program. it's like building a house. i've got the frame up, there are rooms where there should be rooms and ceilings and floors where there should be. now i have to finish it to make it a house. i'm feeling good, an hour more or so will put me in a good position. all nighter might have been a little unnecessary. we'll see though.
12:28am
note to self: get the lyrics to 'life in a glass house' (radiohead.) suddenly they started to make sense. weird how that works out sometimes. anyway I NEED TO KNOW HOW ENUMERATION WORKS. whoa. that worked. god damnit, java is fucking weird sometimes. one hour down and i'm getting shit donnee. good for me.
12:32am
enumeration is completely fucking useless in this context. fuck you brenner for making me do this shit when i should be sleeping.
12:37am
this is great. i'm GUESSING method names, because i don't have access to the sun website so i can look up the vector class. cool.
12:56am
okay ... i think i'm done. well, there is one part that i need to do. my algorithm for the actual encrypting is wrong, so i have to fix that. but i think my constructor works correctly now. everything gets passed, it's taking the right type of parameters and all. this feels very anticlamatic for some reason.
1:01am
okay, i'm sure now that i've got it set up like i want. now all i have to do is fix that stupid function and everything works. then i'll add some error handling and be done with it. i'll say another 2 hours max on it. but i've been working for two hours by now, so it's time to take an hour break. warcraft time.
2:26am:
okay, back in action. took a little more then an hour, but whatever. got some coltrane playing, should get me in the mood. my minds getting a little hazy right now so its going to be hard concentrating. i don't really have a choice though, i'm pretty much up against the wall for this deadline. which is in about 9 hours. gogogo.
2:43am
weird stuff happening ... somethings not right with my program, but everything is working. kinda hard to explain.
2:52am
almost... almost got it.
3:01am
tired tired tired. running into the same problem with converting strings to chars, chars to strings. ggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttt. 8 hours till i hand this in.
3:21am
exhausted, and i've hit a wall. i need a break. i'll just try a little bit more.
3:28am
okay, i've figured out the bottleneck. i need to convert a string (containing a character) to it's ASCII value as an int.
3:36am
note to self:
46=.
32=space
3:47am
uh. so it ALMOST works, again. just ran it through, but it dropped a few characters... weird. but its translating, at least. god i hope i have enough time. yeah, 2 more hours of coding. yeah, i'll be okay. go.
3:50am
SUCCESS. YES YES YES YES YES. IT WORKED. FUCKING A YES. houh man. just need to find out how to convert the input to all uppercase letters, and then code some error handling. praise the lord, i'm saving my comp sci grade as we speak. it's going up RIGHT NOW. college? hello. i'm coming.
3:57am
celebrated too early. somethings not right.
4:02am
so i'm just sitting here staring at the screen. my program encrypts whatever you want, and can decrypt it fine. no big deal. but it simply cannot decrypt the example he provided. just won't do it. just spits out gibberish. i don't really know what to do. i'm kinda speechless right now.
4:10am
i'll just code the error handling. i don't get this.
4:20am
4:20am :)
4:32am
okay, well i've got some error handling in. not a lot though. and none using the try/catch syntax. and the program doesn't decrypt correctly. and i'm using my own etest. i have 3 and a half hours till class, so going to sleep right now would be pretty stupid. i think i'm going to break for a shower, been coding for 2 hours anyway.
6:13am
showered, did some photo, and played wc. i don't think i'm going to work on my code anymore, its just not worth it. it's gone as far as it'll go. its at least worth a B grade. we'll see if anyone else had trouble in class, might be able to touch it up a bit. oh well. this all nighter = done.
enjoy
11:33pm
had first good breakthrough of the night, moving on to subfunctions of class. still looking like i'm pulling an allnighter.
11:37pm
this is great. not having the internet is going to make this project a thousand times worse then it is. fuck you IT for fixing that hole. since my worthless compsci teacher doesn't have a textbook, i have NOTHING TO GO BY. i need to figure out how to make a char into a string. HOW.
11:50pm
okay, well, i found a way ... but its really weird. i convert the char to an array of chars, then for some reason the string constructor will take that (array of chars) instead of just the single char. whatever. it works. next thing.
12:07am
making steady progress. i've got the entire structure that i need for the program. it's like building a house. i've got the frame up, there are rooms where there should be rooms and ceilings and floors where there should be. now i have to finish it to make it a house. i'm feeling good, an hour more or so will put me in a good position. all nighter might have been a little unnecessary. we'll see though.
12:28am
note to self: get the lyrics to 'life in a glass house' (radiohead.) suddenly they started to make sense. weird how that works out sometimes. anyway I NEED TO KNOW HOW ENUMERATION WORKS. whoa. that worked. god damnit, java is fucking weird sometimes. one hour down and i'm getting shit donnee. good for me.
12:32am
enumeration is completely fucking useless in this context. fuck you brenner for making me do this shit when i should be sleeping.
12:37am
this is great. i'm GUESSING method names, because i don't have access to the sun website so i can look up the vector class. cool.
12:56am
okay ... i think i'm done. well, there is one part that i need to do. my algorithm for the actual encrypting is wrong, so i have to fix that. but i think my constructor works correctly now. everything gets passed, it's taking the right type of parameters and all. this feels very anticlamatic for some reason.
1:01am
okay, i'm sure now that i've got it set up like i want. now all i have to do is fix that stupid function and everything works. then i'll add some error handling and be done with it. i'll say another 2 hours max on it. but i've been working for two hours by now, so it's time to take an hour break. warcraft time.
2:26am:
okay, back in action. took a little more then an hour, but whatever. got some coltrane playing, should get me in the mood. my minds getting a little hazy right now so its going to be hard concentrating. i don't really have a choice though, i'm pretty much up against the wall for this deadline. which is in about 9 hours. gogogo.
2:43am
weird stuff happening ... somethings not right with my program, but everything is working. kinda hard to explain.
2:52am
almost... almost got it.
3:01am
tired tired tired. running into the same problem with converting strings to chars, chars to strings. ggggggggggggggggrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttt. 8 hours till i hand this in.
3:21am
exhausted, and i've hit a wall. i need a break. i'll just try a little bit more.
3:28am
okay, i've figured out the bottleneck. i need to convert a string (containing a character) to it's ASCII value as an int.
3:36am
note to self:
46=.
32=space
3:47am
uh. so it ALMOST works, again. just ran it through, but it dropped a few characters... weird. but its translating, at least. god i hope i have enough time. yeah, 2 more hours of coding. yeah, i'll be okay. go.
3:50am
SUCCESS. YES YES YES YES YES. IT WORKED. FUCKING A YES. houh man. just need to find out how to convert the input to all uppercase letters, and then code some error handling. praise the lord, i'm saving my comp sci grade as we speak. it's going up RIGHT NOW. college? hello. i'm coming.
3:57am
celebrated too early. somethings not right.
4:02am
so i'm just sitting here staring at the screen. my program encrypts whatever you want, and can decrypt it fine. no big deal. but it simply cannot decrypt the example he provided. just won't do it. just spits out gibberish. i don't really know what to do. i'm kinda speechless right now.
4:10am
i'll just code the error handling. i don't get this.
4:20am
4:20am :)
4:32am
okay, well i've got some error handling in. not a lot though. and none using the try/catch syntax. and the program doesn't decrypt correctly. and i'm using my own etest. i have 3 and a half hours till class, so going to sleep right now would be pretty stupid. i think i'm going to break for a shower, been coding for 2 hours anyway.
6:13am
showered, did some photo, and played wc. i don't think i'm going to work on my code anymore, its just not worth it. it's gone as far as it'll go. its at least worth a B grade. we'll see if anyone else had trouble in class, might be able to touch it up a bit. oh well. this all nighter = done.
Sunday, November 02, 2003
well...
another sunday. it progressively got worse throughout the day, and curtled by sunset.
i woke at noon, wearing my shoes.
i have much to say, but no desire to say it. just like to say thank you to david - a fellow geek who sent me a thoughtful email. i'm sure that's not the first one he's sent, and won't be the last either. he's a good guy for sure. so thanks david.
saturday night was a perfect night. i pregamed and went to the dance, spent 5 mins, and left. then bought a pack of cigs and went to the river with cris. we bullshitted the bullshit. i felt so great that night.
right now though, i'm a little down. my photo project bite the dust. negs came out horrible, and i was suppose to have my color prints in the bookstore 2 days ago. so i think i'm just going to use my digital, it's 2 megapixels and in its highest quality (5 megs at 1600x1200) looks fine. so we'll see if i can fool my photo teacher.
anyway, i haven't updated in a while and i feel horrible about it. once a day for this entire week. i promise.
-dhuck
another sunday. it progressively got worse throughout the day, and curtled by sunset.
i woke at noon, wearing my shoes.
i have much to say, but no desire to say it. just like to say thank you to david - a fellow geek who sent me a thoughtful email. i'm sure that's not the first one he's sent, and won't be the last either. he's a good guy for sure. so thanks david.
saturday night was a perfect night. i pregamed and went to the dance, spent 5 mins, and left. then bought a pack of cigs and went to the river with cris. we bullshitted the bullshit. i felt so great that night.
right now though, i'm a little down. my photo project bite the dust. negs came out horrible, and i was suppose to have my color prints in the bookstore 2 days ago. so i think i'm just going to use my digital, it's 2 megapixels and in its highest quality (5 megs at 1600x1200) looks fine. so we'll see if i can fool my photo teacher.
anyway, i haven't updated in a while and i feel horrible about it. once a day for this entire week. i promise.
-dhuck
Thursday, October 30, 2003
last night:
its almost 1am, and i can't sleep. so i decided to get up and play around with photoshop. graphic design is definately an area that i wish i was better at. i never really played around with photoshop until this year, and i'm glad that i had at least started. anyway, right now i'm looking for a good picture to replace for the main picture of dhuck.com. i think i'll take down the main links to the store, and remove my contact info. it bothers me that people can [easily] get my name, phone number etc. its simple enough to whois it, but why put it in plaintext, ya know?
ughh. just spent an hour playing with photoshop. i think i'm tired now. may as well try and sleep. going to get 4 hours tonight, this blows.
this morning:
ughhahg. i need to find some time to do a real update.
ps. last night's photoshop:
-dhuck
its almost 1am, and i can't sleep. so i decided to get up and play around with photoshop. graphic design is definately an area that i wish i was better at. i never really played around with photoshop until this year, and i'm glad that i had at least started. anyway, right now i'm looking for a good picture to replace for the main picture of dhuck.com. i think i'll take down the main links to the store, and remove my contact info. it bothers me that people can [easily] get my name, phone number etc. its simple enough to whois it, but why put it in plaintext, ya know?
ughh. just spent an hour playing with photoshop. i think i'm tired now. may as well try and sleep. going to get 4 hours tonight, this blows.
this morning:
ughhahg. i need to find some time to do a real update.
ps. last night's photoshop:
-dhuck
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
tired.
-dhuck
-dhuck
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
well haven't updated in a while... because, well, not a lot goes on here. seems like everything i write about is about school. maybe it has to do with the fact that i LIVE AT SCHOOL. ugh.
so i woke up on sunday, and just started doing work. worked a while, played around a bit on the computer, then more work. it was a really bad day weather wise, was so dark. then it got dark around 4:30pm, that was cool. daylight savings time sucks. winter is coming, i can feel it in my bones. oh well.
so spent sunday working. and monday i spent ... working too. i didn't go to xc yesterday either, just decided that sleeping was more important. no big deal really - but i have to basically avoid coach today and hope he doesn't ask me why i wasn't there. if he does i'll just say that i was sick.
last night was pretty good actually. i took my sister out to dinner, then did a lot of quality work in the library for a few hours. went to the photo lab to mount one of my images (which - unfortunately, came out subpar because the equipment sucks - i'm so pissed.) then the best part of my day: spent an hour with courtney taking pictures of her for photo. :D it was great. though - very bittersweet. i've really fallen for her, and i'm just waiting for the right time to make a move - or even just say something.
i couldn't go to sleep i was thinking about her so much. so i ended up watching the movie 'Go' in the common room and drinking cokes supplied by underclassmen.
speaking of courtney. here's a pic of us together. not very good quality because its a pic of a pic, but whatever.
-dhuck
so i woke up on sunday, and just started doing work. worked a while, played around a bit on the computer, then more work. it was a really bad day weather wise, was so dark. then it got dark around 4:30pm, that was cool. daylight savings time sucks. winter is coming, i can feel it in my bones. oh well.
so spent sunday working. and monday i spent ... working too. i didn't go to xc yesterday either, just decided that sleeping was more important. no big deal really - but i have to basically avoid coach today and hope he doesn't ask me why i wasn't there. if he does i'll just say that i was sick.
last night was pretty good actually. i took my sister out to dinner, then did a lot of quality work in the library for a few hours. went to the photo lab to mount one of my images (which - unfortunately, came out subpar because the equipment sucks - i'm so pissed.) then the best part of my day: spent an hour with courtney taking pictures of her for photo. :D it was great. though - very bittersweet. i've really fallen for her, and i'm just waiting for the right time to make a move - or even just say something.
i couldn't go to sleep i was thinking about her so much. so i ended up watching the movie 'Go' in the common room and drinking cokes supplied by underclassmen.
speaking of courtney. here's a pic of us together. not very good quality because its a pic of a pic, but whatever.
-dhuck
Saturday, October 25, 2003
what a beautiful day.
i really just had a great day. well, i'm not even going to talk about my SAT scores that i just found out. they were kind of low, but whatever. i'm not letting some standardized test ruin my great day.
okay, so it started out with the conference with the english teacher. that went really well. no worries about judging or anything. she really enjoyed my paper - well, heh, not enjoyed. she had a lot to say. she thinks that i write very well, and i took that as a very big compliment. structually it had everything that it needed to. which is actually what i was really concerned about. i got a lot of good pointers about how to improve, and what to add. i'm excited about working on it. how cool is that.
well i ended up staying with her for 10 minutes into my first class. heh, hups. so i had to run from downtown exeter to class (about a half mile) - and arrived into class in jeans and a tshirt (radiohead tshirt :D ) [not dresscode.] and 15 minutes later. i don't think i got a late though, which is nice. i don't want to go through the BS required to clear it. that class was alright, then english after it was alright too. we're reading hamlet - bleh - and shakespeare has just always been a bitch to me. or rather, i've been his bitch.
in other news, had a cross country meet. that was awesome. well, no, it sucked, but i had a great time with my friends. we joked, we laughed, we poured water on one another and stole gatorades. life is good when you're with people you can pour water on. there's a couple girls on the team too that i'd like to get to know better. and by get to know better, i mean i'd like to get into a relationship with. but it's just a pipedream. i don't know how to approach them, i never see them on campus and bleh. yeah.
i'd like to get a girl. in fact, that's really all i want right now. i've done everything else here. i've gotten the grades, i've gotten the club positions, i've partied, i've danced - but i haven't gotten a girl. all i want is someone to hang out with and talk to, to make her laugh until she cries. its not so much a sexual thing, but just a wanting to create a relationship on that level. that's all i want.
but i just don't know how to get it. do people just randomly ask each other out? how the hell does all this work. it's all fucking crazy.
oh well.
-dhuck
i really just had a great day. well, i'm not even going to talk about my SAT scores that i just found out. they were kind of low, but whatever. i'm not letting some standardized test ruin my great day.
okay, so it started out with the conference with the english teacher. that went really well. no worries about judging or anything. she really enjoyed my paper - well, heh, not enjoyed. she had a lot to say. she thinks that i write very well, and i took that as a very big compliment. structually it had everything that it needed to. which is actually what i was really concerned about. i got a lot of good pointers about how to improve, and what to add. i'm excited about working on it. how cool is that.
well i ended up staying with her for 10 minutes into my first class. heh, hups. so i had to run from downtown exeter to class (about a half mile) - and arrived into class in jeans and a tshirt (radiohead tshirt :D ) [not dresscode.] and 15 minutes later. i don't think i got a late though, which is nice. i don't want to go through the BS required to clear it. that class was alright, then english after it was alright too. we're reading hamlet - bleh - and shakespeare has just always been a bitch to me. or rather, i've been his bitch.
in other news, had a cross country meet. that was awesome. well, no, it sucked, but i had a great time with my friends. we joked, we laughed, we poured water on one another and stole gatorades. life is good when you're with people you can pour water on. there's a couple girls on the team too that i'd like to get to know better. and by get to know better, i mean i'd like to get into a relationship with. but it's just a pipedream. i don't know how to approach them, i never see them on campus and bleh. yeah.
i'd like to get a girl. in fact, that's really all i want right now. i've done everything else here. i've gotten the grades, i've gotten the club positions, i've partied, i've danced - but i haven't gotten a girl. all i want is someone to hang out with and talk to, to make her laugh until she cries. its not so much a sexual thing, but just a wanting to create a relationship on that level. that's all i want.
but i just don't know how to get it. do people just randomly ask each other out? how the hell does all this work. it's all fucking crazy.
oh well.
-dhuck
note to self:
this is what you get after trying to play too much guitar in one day. ouch.
needless to say, it hurts. that's dead skin on the top, and nice little groves on the point finger. once i play more i'll regain my calluses (sp?) - i haven't been playing all that much lately, maybe only 3 hours a week tops.
anyway, been working on my new strum for a chord progression that i mentioned earlier. it's really getting there, i should have it almost perfected tomorrow. now just waiting for lyrics...
WAITING FOR LYRICS. ANYTIME NOW. UGH.
btw - just woke up. its 6:06am by this clock and i went to bed at 130. i'm getting owned by sleep dep.
-dhuck
this is what you get after trying to play too much guitar in one day. ouch.
needless to say, it hurts. that's dead skin on the top, and nice little groves on the point finger. once i play more i'll regain my calluses (sp?) - i haven't been playing all that much lately, maybe only 3 hours a week tops.
anyway, been working on my new strum for a chord progression that i mentioned earlier. it's really getting there, i should have it almost perfected tomorrow. now just waiting for lyrics...
WAITING FOR LYRICS. ANYTIME NOW. UGH.
btw - just woke up. its 6:06am by this clock and i went to bed at 130. i'm getting owned by sleep dep.
-dhuck
